Letters to you

I bought way too much candy for Halloween. I wanted to be prepared, because some years, many groups have come by, and one year I actually ran out of candy. So I got this really gross candy - the kind that kids really like and is every dentist's nightmare. I got two bags of Monster Mixups, and one bag each of Gaveyard Ghoulies and Body Parts. These basically consisted of some horrible admixture of gummy substance, sugar, noxious flavoring, and toxic dye, fashioned into horrid little shapes such as severed feet, teeth, eyeballs, skulls, and other hideous items. The kids who showed up loved them, but there were only about four groups (if even that). There had been an armed assault at the Twinbrook Shopping Center, and a police helicopter had hovered over our neighborhood for about a half an hour during prime candy time, so the event was kind of a bust. Meaning that I was stuck with about three pounds of crawling hideousness which was only vaguely disguised as something that little people-spawn actually put in their mouths. Which isn't surprising, since I've seen them put everything they can in their mouths...

So what did I do? I took it to work. "Surely I will be laughed out of the office," I thought. "Nobody will even touch this stuff. They will barf just looking at it or smelling it."

Wrong.

What I hadn't considered is that I now work in a computer center (that's another update - I'll post about that later) with a bunch of sugar junkies. It was HORRIBLE. They descended on the gummy eyeballs like a plague of locusts. Did they eat just one? Oh no. They went back for seconds, thirds, fourths.

By the end of the day, the bag was gone.

This morning I brought in a shopping bag full of even more gummy eyeballs (and thumbs and feet and teeth and monsters). These, too, are being devoured. The entire Application Hosting Environment is going to become diabetic. I'd say it was my fault, but hey, my only crime was littering leaving the gobs of goo where people could get it.

Egad, I say.

May this year find us all gainfully employed doing stuff we really like, fortunate in matters of the heart, safe, healthy, and in the black in fashion and finance...