Sunshine has died

[helen99]

Sunshine passed away yesterday afternoon (the 23rd). He was 18 years old. He seemed to be ok until about six days ago, when I noticed he wasn't eating enough at all - a couple of bites and then that would be all, even though I was giving him wet cat food that had been broken up into small bites and diluted. Finally about 4 days ago he stopped eating altogether.

rialian started feeding him with a syringe and gave him kitten milk replacement formula mixed with cat food and a dab of NutriCal. Sunshine really didn't want it, but we couldn't just let him die of thirst and starvation. Nor could I bring myself to take him to the vet -- Aside from the fact that he really didn't want to go (which was the main reason I didn't take him), I felt certain they wouldn't do anything except maybe prolong it for a short time, or (more likely) tell me to put him to sleep. rialian and I both felt he wanted to be at home.

rialian spent the last four nights curled up with him on the couch (Sunshine's favorite spot), with Sunshine wrapped in a towel for warmth. We took turns bathing him and drying him and brushing his fur.

Anyway, rialian went home for lunch yesterday and fed him, and then got off work early and came home. At around 5:00 or so (before I had returned), he bathed Sunshine and dried him off and brushed him, and had him in his lap, purring softly, when he passed. rialian said that just after it happened, he heard a really loud purr, seeming to come from everywhere and nowhere, and he could feel Sunshine purring, but not physically.

rialian did a little meditation in which he was helping Sunshine across, and got the impression of Sunshine being received by the Celtic goddess Bridget. rialian wrapped him in the very old silk shirt of mine that I'd chosen for him - that shirt was about as old as he was and I loved it and wore it very often during his life. When I came home, Sunshine was curled up in my shirt beside my statue of Bast, and a candle was burning nearby.

The house feels a lot emptier without him. He was a very big presence. Plus it would seem he was Bridget's cat. I think I'm toast. There were all those times I got mad at him for spraying things, and all those times I shut him out of my room, and ... and ...) ...

I'm glad rialian was with him when he died, as he was the one who was there for him day and night toward the end, and he treated the crossing with a respect and reverence that I probably wouldn't have maintained, since I'd have been too occupied with becoming a total basket case...which I did quite admirably, I might add. But rialian took care of everything. When I came home, the house was spotless, and Sunshine was clean and dry and arrayed splendidly, as befits the gods when they return to rule the worlds...

Comments

Deepest Sympathies

[subtle-shadow.livejournal.com]

I know how hard it is to lose a loved one and wanted you to know that I am thinking of you, Ri, and the rest of your furry/reptilian family during this time.

Re: Deepest Sympathies

[helen99.livejournal.com]

Thank you... This part is always the hardest of course. He gave me 18 years. He was a very special friend.

[gleef.livejournal.com]

***HUGS***

My condolences, I only met Sunshine briefly, but he had a full, long, happy life with people who cared very deeply for him, and from what you described he was able to choose the place and time of his passing. May his next life be as good as this one.

***HUGS***

[helen99.livejournal.com]

I always harbor the hope that they'll choose me when they come back... But so far only one did.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

*sending both of you you warm hugs and condolences, and blessings for Sunshine on his new journey*

[helen99.livejournal.com]

Thank you. He was a bright and incandescent being... The house seems so dark... Your warm thoughts are appreciated.

[helia44.livejournal.com]

My love and warmth are with you both. May Sunshine's purrs be always felt.

[helen99.livejournal.com]

Thank you, H'elia. Yes, his Purrs are even bigger now... Rialian still feels them. I'm not very good at feeling the nonphysical though. You and he are very fortunate and talented that way. Greatly looking forward to seeing you this weekend!

[kiarrith.livejournal.com]

*many strong hugs* It is always hard to lose a member of the family, even when it is not unexpected. I am sure Sunshine will have naught but good words for you and Ri.

[helen99.livejournal.com]

He'll probably say, "those two couldn't say "no" when it came to bringing those durn KITTENS home. I was an old dude, creaky and sedate, and what do they do? They bring those horrible little KITTENS home!" But seriously, he was the most loving cat I've ever had. No matter what I was doing, he would come over to cuddle, especially when I was trying to do my workout routine on the floor...

I remember him...

[arxacies.livejournal.com]

He was a very good, if not perfect, cat in life. If you could have done more to help him on his way, I can't imagine what. I am truly sorry.

Re: I remember him...

[helen99.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes he was. He was the last of my cats that had come to me in the 1980s - I got Tammy in 1983, Sunshine in 1987, and Iago in 1988. They are all missed.

[dreamfall.livejournal.com]

*gentle hugs and soft Singing Sunshine across the Bridge*

My deep sympathies to you and Rialian both. Losing a beloved family member sucks. *HUG*

[helen99.livejournal.com]

Thank you. *hugs back*. It really does. There's no other way to put it. At least now Oosie is coming downstairs again. For some reason she became terrified to come downstairs while Sunshine was in his last days. She would stare at him with ears back and creep up the stairs, and then she would holler for us to come up and keep her company, but refused to be anywhere near him. I never saw anything like that. The other kitties are a big help - Sithreal has been a lifesaver through the recent losses. He is such an enormous armful... and Spooky has been extra affectionate.

[aekiy.livejournal.com]

:hugsquish:

[helen99.livejournal.com]

Thank you Kash. I ... Hug. Cry. ya.

*tears up*

[forestdweller.livejournal.com]

Ahh, Bless Sunshine, and you, and Rialian.

You were all the best for each other.

Safe passage, friend.

Re: *tears up*

[helen99.livejournal.com]

Thank you... When the end comes I never know if I did the right thing... If I have them put to sleep, I wonder if they would have rebounded (one of my cats actually did rebound for 6 months). If I don't have them put to sleep, I wonder if I maybe let them suffer needlessly. The only thing I had to go on was that he wasn't crying, and he seemed to want to stay home. I hope we did the right thing.

[jolantru.livejournal.com]

:(

*hugs*

[helen99.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I hope you and your family are well.

Ow

[kinjouten.livejournal.com]

Damn. I'm so sorry. I'm going to miss him.

Re: Ow

[helen99.livejournal.com]

It's a sad, sad day here at giantfuckingcats.com...

[helen99.livejournal.com]

Clearly, the sun is composed of Incandescent Cats.</center.

[kyrin7.livejournal.com]

I'll miss that big orange cat. I always enjoyed the times he'd sit in my lap purring or when he'd come up and issue his single "M'rp" indicating he wanted to be petted. Mostly I'll remember that he was purr incarnate, and a very sociable person.

[pahana.livejournal.com]

Awwwwwww. :(

[helen99.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Sumerian. I shall miss him, yep.

[ebonhost.livejournal.com]

I remember Sunshine from my one visit there. He was such a sweetie. Hugs and much warmth and love to both you and Ri, and may his purring echo in your hearts always.

[helen99.livejournal.com]

Thank you... Nobody who has met him, no matter how long ago, has ever forgotten him. He was one amazingly beautiful cat, both in looks and in spirit.

[kaifoxx.livejournal.com]

:(

Condolences...

[helen99.livejournal.com]

He was my last feline link to when the world still felt new...

[moniqueleigh]

:( So sorry, dear. *hugs* to you, Ri, & the rest of the family.

[helen99.livejournal.com]

Thanks... The kitties have all been asking for extra affection this past week. I think they know something changed drastically, although of course as kitties, they don't dwell on it like I do. The rest of the kitties have already spread their territories. Within a day, Sunshine's favorite spots were taken by three of the others.

[onethousandcats.livejournal.com]

sunshine was one of the best cats i've ever had the pleasure of meeting. you gave him a wonderful life, and i'm sure he's still with you in many ways and always will be. i'll light a candle for him.

[helen99.livejournal.com]

Thank you - he really was. I hope I gave him the life he wanted. He was a gentle, great spirit who deserved the best.

[dancinglights.livejournal.com]

Condolences for the bipedal and quadrupedal members of your household... I'll miss the BuddhaCat; somehow that enlightened ball of orange was one of the few that didn't make me terribly ill, and his occasional companionship was always welcomed. You guys did wonderfully by him, and I'm sure he appreciates it.

[helen99.livejournal.com]

He never was a pushy guy... He would just give you that soft meow and wait... He had his little routines where he knew if he came by at certain times, someone would be there to pet him, and he was always there for his pets. His ultimate goal was always my pillow...

[elesia.livejournal.com]

And may She hold him in Her arms as he watches over you both.

With love...

[helen99.livejournal.com]

Thank you, El. The Bright Lady has a way of doing that...

[wytchchyld.livejournal.com]

Oh, man. :( He was such a sweetie.

You and Ri have my condolences.

[helen99.livejournal.com]

Thanks... It's amazing - you met him just once but you remember him. He was unforgettable... Hope you're doing well.

*hugs*

[red-lynx.livejournal.com]

*much love to both you and Ri, and all your animals*
the sun is indeed made out of incandescent cats which we are sometimes priveleged to glimpse and hold for atime

Re: *hugs*

[helen99.livejournal.com]

Thank you. He was a wonderful kitty. The ones who are still with me have been a great help.