Sunshine has died

Sunshine passed away yesterday afternoon (the 23rd). He was 18 years old. He seemed to be ok until about six days ago, when I noticed he wasn't eating enough at all - a couple of bites and then that would be all, even though I was giving him wet cat food that had been broken up into small bites and diluted. Finally about 4 days ago he stopped eating altogether.

rialian started feeding him with a syringe and gave him kitten milk replacement formula mixed with cat food and a dab of NutriCal. Sunshine really didn't want it, but we couldn't just let him die of thirst and starvation. Nor could I bring myself to take him to the vet -- Aside from the fact that he really didn't want to go (which was the main reason I didn't take him), I felt certain they wouldn't do anything except maybe prolong it for a short time, or (more likely) tell me to put him to sleep. rialian and I both felt he wanted to be at home.

rialian spent the last four nights curled up with him on the couch (Sunshine's favorite spot), with Sunshine wrapped in a towel for warmth. We took turns bathing him and drying him and brushing his fur.

Anyway, rialian went home for lunch yesterday and fed him, and then got off work early and came home. At around 5:00 or so (before I had returned), he bathed Sunshine and dried him off and brushed him, and had him in his lap, purring softly, when he passed. rialian said that just after it happened, he heard a really loud purr, seeming to come from everywhere and nowhere, and he could feel Sunshine purring, but not physically.

rialian did a little meditation in which he was helping Sunshine across, and got the impression of Sunshine being received by the Celtic goddess Bridget. rialian wrapped him in the very old silk shirt of mine that I'd chosen for him - that shirt was about as old as he was and I loved it and wore it very often during his life. When I came home, Sunshine was curled up in my shirt beside my statue of Bast, and a candle was burning nearby.

The house feels a lot emptier without him. He was a very big presence. Plus it would seem he was Bridget's cat. I think I'm toast. There were all those times I got mad at him for spraying things, and all those times I shut him out of my room, and ... and ...) ...

I'm glad rialian was with him when he died, as he was the one who was there for him day and night toward the end, and he treated the crossing with a respect and reverence that I probably wouldn't have maintained, since I'd have been too occupied with becoming a total basket case...which I did quite admirably, I might add. But rialian took care of everything. When I came home, the house was spotless, and Sunshine was clean and dry and arrayed splendidly, as befits the gods when they return to rule the worlds...