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California? (Dream)
Last night I dreamed that my mother told me that dad was selling our houses and they and I were packing up and taking a plane to "California".
When I realized that they were going to take a plane rather than drive, because it would be "a forty-hour drive and we don't have time for that," I started screaming that I refuse to ever get on an airplane again in this lifetime. I also asked "what about![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rialian"? Where is aekiy going to live? But they said they'd have to find an alternative because, you see, we were going. I also asked about my job, but was told that none of that mattered. We were moving to California and that was that.
The whole prospect disturbed me much more than a deceased person trying to sell our houses.
California - I've always wished to somehow be a part of that hotbed of ideas where it all seems to start. I have also wished we would have some of that attitude here. But it also represents death - falling into the ocean. Secession from the union. The unknown. The jumping off point. California...
When I realized that they were going to take a plane rather than drive, because it would be "a forty-hour drive and we don't have time for that," I started screaming that I refuse to ever get on an airplane again in this lifetime. I also asked "what about
rialian"? Where is aekiy going to live? But they said they'd have to find an alternative because, you see, we were going. I also asked about my job, but was told that none of that mattered. We were moving to California and that was that.The whole prospect disturbed me much more than a deceased person trying to sell our houses.
California - I've always wished to somehow be a part of that hotbed of ideas where it all seems to start. I have also wished we would have some of that attitude here. But it also represents death - falling into the ocean. Secession from the union. The unknown. The jumping off point. California...
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California here we come~ Right back where we started from~ Californiaaaa....
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I'm not sure where that pull comes from that keeps tugging at me (it has all my life - but not by way of my mom, who would never dream of going there). Maybe it's from the North tip of CA along the coast somewhere. Or maybe even farther north of that. I don't know where it's coming from but it's over on the lefthand side of the world somewhere and it's pretty strong. The things that scare me about going there (job, security, etc) are only the bars of a prison I've constructed to keep myself 'safe'.
Safety is not all it's quacked up to be, and nothing is safe anyway. The end of all fear is the only true freedom...
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