helen99: A windswept tree against a starlit sky (Default)
helen99 ([personal profile] helen99) wrote2004-11-24 11:32 am
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Sunshine has died

Sunshine passed away yesterday afternoon (the 23rd). He was 18 years old. He seemed to be ok until about six days ago, when I noticed he wasn't eating enough at all - a couple of bites and then that would be all, even though I was giving him wet cat food that had been broken up into small bites and diluted. Finally about 4 days ago he stopped eating altogether.

[livejournal.com profile] rialian started feeding him with a syringe and gave him kitten milk replacement formula mixed with cat food and a dab of NutriCal. Sunshine really didn't want it, but we couldn't just let him die of thirst and starvation. Nor could I bring myself to take him to the vet -- Aside from the fact that he really didn't want to go (which was the main reason I didn't take him), I felt certain they wouldn't do anything except maybe prolong it for a short time, or (more likely) tell me to put him to sleep. [livejournal.com profile] rialian and I both felt he wanted to be at home.

[livejournal.com profile] rialian spent the last four nights curled up with him on the couch (Sunshine's favorite spot), with Sunshine wrapped in a towel for warmth. We took turns bathing him and drying him and brushing his fur.

Anyway, [livejournal.com profile] rialian went home for lunch yesterday and fed him, and then got off work early and came home. At around 5:00 or so (before I had returned), he bathed Sunshine and dried him off and brushed him, and had him in his lap, purring softly, when he passed. [livejournal.com profile] rialian said that just after it happened, he heard a really loud purr, seeming to come from everywhere and nowhere, and he could feel Sunshine purring, but not physically.

[livejournal.com profile] rialian did a little meditation in which he was helping Sunshine across, and got the impression of Sunshine being received by the Celtic goddess Bridget. [livejournal.com profile] rialian wrapped him in the very old silk shirt of mine that I'd chosen for him - that shirt was about as old as he was and I loved it and wore it very often during his life. When I came home, Sunshine was curled up in my shirt beside my statue of Bast, and a candle was burning nearby.

The house feels a lot emptier without him. He was a very big presence. Plus it would seem he was Bridget's cat. I think I'm toast. There were all those times I got mad at him for spraying things, and all those times I shut him out of my room, and ... and ...) ...

I'm glad [livejournal.com profile] rialian was with him when he died, as he was the one who was there for him day and night toward the end, and he treated the crossing with a respect and reverence that I probably wouldn't have maintained, since I'd have been too occupied with becoming a total basket case...which I did quite admirably, I might add. But [livejournal.com profile] rialian took care of everything. When I came home, the house was spotless, and Sunshine was clean and dry and arrayed splendidly, as befits the gods when they return to rule the worlds...

Deepest Sympathies

[identity profile] subtle-shadow.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 04:55 pm (UTC)(link)
I know how hard it is to lose a loved one and wanted you to know that I am thinking of you, Ri, and the rest of your furry/reptilian family during this time.

[identity profile] gleef.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 05:08 pm (UTC)(link)
***HUGS***

My condolences, I only met Sunshine briefly, but he had a full, long, happy life with people who cared very deeply for him, and from what you described he was able to choose the place and time of his passing. May his next life be as good as this one.

***HUGS***

[identity profile] elenbarathi.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 05:40 pm (UTC)(link)
*sending both of you you warm hugs and condolences, and blessings for Sunshine on his new journey*

[identity profile] helia44.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 06:09 pm (UTC)(link)
My love and warmth are with you both. May Sunshine's purrs be always felt.

[identity profile] kiarrith.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 06:55 pm (UTC)(link)
*many strong hugs* It is always hard to lose a member of the family, even when it is not unexpected. I am sure Sunshine will have naught but good words for you and Ri.

I remember him...

[identity profile] arxacies.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 07:35 pm (UTC)(link)
He was a very good, if not perfect, cat in life. If you could have done more to help him on his way, I can't imagine what. I am truly sorry.

[identity profile] dreamfall.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 08:21 pm (UTC)(link)
*gentle hugs and soft Singing Sunshine across the Bridge*

My deep sympathies to you and Rialian both. Losing a beloved family member sucks. *HUG*

[identity profile] aekiy.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 08:32 pm (UTC)(link)
:hugsquish:
ext_5300: tree in the stars (Default)

Re: Deepest Sympathies

[identity profile] helen99.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 08:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you... This part is always the hardest of course. He gave me 18 years. He was a very special friend.
ext_5300: tree in the stars (Default)

[identity profile] helen99.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 08:50 pm (UTC)(link)
I always harbor the hope that they'll choose me when they come back... But so far only one did.
ext_5300: tree in the stars (Default)

[identity profile] helen99.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 08:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you. He was a bright and incandescent being... The house seems so dark... Your warm thoughts are appreciated.
ext_5300: tree in the stars (Default)

[identity profile] helen99.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 08:54 pm (UTC)(link)
He'll probably say, "those two couldn't say "no" when it came to bringing those durn KITTENS home. I was an old dude, creaky and sedate, and what do they do? They bring those horrible little KITTENS home!" But seriously, he was the most loving cat I've ever had. No matter what I was doing, he would come over to cuddle, especially when I was trying to do my workout routine on the floor...
ext_5300: tree in the stars (Default)

Re: I remember him...

[identity profile] helen99.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 08:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, yes he was. He was the last of my cats that had come to me in the 1980s - I got Tammy in 1983, Sunshine in 1987, and Iago in 1988. They are all missed.
ext_5300: tree in the stars (Default)

[identity profile] helen99.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 09:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you. *hugs back*. It really does. There's no other way to put it. At least now Oosie is coming downstairs again. For some reason she became terrified to come downstairs while Sunshine was in his last days. She would stare at him with ears back and creep up the stairs, and then she would holler for us to come up and keep her company, but refused to be anywhere near him. I never saw anything like that. The other kitties are a big help - Sithreal has been a lifesaver through the recent losses. He is such an enormous armful... and Spooky has been extra affectionate.
ext_5300: tree in the stars (Default)

[identity profile] helen99.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 09:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you Kash. I ... Hug. Cry. ya.
ext_5300: tree in the stars (Default)

[identity profile] helen99.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you, H'elia. Yes, his Purrs are even bigger now... Rialian still feels them. I'm not very good at feeling the nonphysical though. You and he are very fortunate and talented that way. Greatly looking forward to seeing you this weekend!

Re: I remember him...

[identity profile] arxacies.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 09:09 pm (UTC)(link)
*nods* It's been a year. Please tell Rialian to call when he has a chance. Nothing vital, but I would like to talk for awhile.

*tears up*

[identity profile] forestdweller.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 09:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Ahh, Bless Sunshine, and you, and Rialian.

You were all the best for each other.

Safe passage, friend.
ext_5300: tree in the stars (Default)

Re: *tears up*

[identity profile] helen99.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 09:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you... When the end comes I never know if I did the right thing... If I have them put to sleep, I wonder if they would have rebounded (one of my cats actually did rebound for 6 months). If I don't have them put to sleep, I wonder if I maybe let them suffer needlessly. The only thing I had to go on was that he wasn't crying, and he seemed to want to stay home. I hope we did the right thing.

[identity profile] jolantru.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 10:38 pm (UTC)(link)
:(

*hugs*

Ow

[identity profile] kinjouten.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 10:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Damn. I'm so sorry. I'm going to miss him.
ext_5300: tree in the stars (Default)

Re: Ow

[identity profile] helen99.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 11:09 pm (UTC)(link)
It's a sad, sad day here at giantfuckingcats.com...
ext_5300: tree in the stars (Default)

[identity profile] helen99.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 11:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you. I hope you and your family are well.
ext_5300: tree in the stars (Default)

[identity profile] helen99.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 11:14 pm (UTC)(link)


Clearly, the sun is composed of Incandescent Cats.</center.

[identity profile] kiarrith.livejournal.com 2004-11-24 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
*soft smiles* they are good like that...

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