You should buy him a puppet ostrich sidekick called Mr Bigglesworth, consumating his role as an escaped children's TV show character and delighting rambunctious, manic depressive kingirls everywhere. If you can't get an ostrich, make it a shoggoth.
Also, irrelevantly, I discover illuviel and I have the same birthday. 10/21 NEVER FORGET.
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Also, irrelevantly, I discover