helen99: Artemis Bee Coin (Artemis Bee Coin)
Dreamwidth's site status is on Twitter.

I don't think there's anything better to provide short, precise, current updates on site status.

So now Twitter makes much more sense than I ever wanted it to make. :P
helen99: A windswept tree against a starlit sky (Default)
Onion satire of the day:

UN Acquires Nuclear Weapon

Powerful Rest And Fluids Industry Influencing Doctors' Treatment Of Colds

Bent Horoscopes
helen99: A windswept tree against a starlit sky (Default)
Yanno, even I'm not this weird. (ROFL)

"Bear convicted for theft of honey
By Paddy Clark
BBC News

The taste of honey was just too tempting for a bear in Macedonia, which repeatedly raided a beekeeper's hives. Now it has a criminal record after a court found it guilty of theft and criminal damage. But there was an empty dock in the court in the city of Bitola and no handcuffed bear, which was convicted in its absence.

The case was brought by the exasperated beekeeper after a year of trying vainly to protect his beehives. For a while, he kept the animal away by buying a generator, lighting up the area, and playing thumping Serbian turbo-folk music. But when the generator ran out of power and the music fell silent, the bear was back and the honey was gone once more. "It attacked the beehives again," said beekeeper Zoran Kiseloski. Because the animal had no owner and belonged to a protected species, the court ordered the state to pay for the damage to the hives - around $3,500 (£1,750; 2,238 euros). The bear, meanwhile, remains at large - somewhere in Macedonia.

Story from BBC NEWS: http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/europe/7295559.stm
Published: 2008/03/14 02:28:27 GMT, © BBC MMVIII"
helen99: A windswept tree against a starlit sky (Default)
From email sent to Ri by new Baltimore guy at permaculture night:

"i like your style a lot, you talk like i think. being with you is like being with my mind personified."

I'm not exactly sure what to make of that :D

In other news, taxes all day, brainfry. Still two more pieces of info before I can efile, so will have to wait until after the holiday to send
helen99: A windswept tree against a starlit sky (Default)
You and your Livejournal and You

In which Lore Sjöberg pokes a little fun at LJ.

The best part was at the very end, when he described himself thus:
"Born helpless, nude and unable to provide for himself, Lore Sjöberg eventually overcame these handicaps to devote his life to helping the helpless, cheering the cheerless and minding the mindless."
helen99: A windswept tree against a starlit sky (Default)

Her:
The corn snakes are probably hungry by now and need their water checked - I didn't do that last weekend. Weather permitting, I will need to spring for mice today. We will also need to get rats for the bigger huggy wuggies.

Him:
I can easily pick them up on my way back from my client this evening, or on my way there (and have a cooler in the car for the frozen things...that do not need launching...though a trebuchet might be a nifty concept...)(lol)

Her:
We'd have to oil the trebuchet with linseed oil if we wanted to strategically place it in the front yard. I wouldn't want it to warp. It shall be paced near the front fence, perhaps partially hidden by the large juniper. Thus, the frozen mice could be launched stealthily into the midst of any 'rumbles' that occur within launching distance. We could call the trebuchet "Duck". Eventually, 15 head of Duck could be created, but that may have to wait until we have more land!


"15 head of Duck," lol. (I'm easily amused)...
helen99: A windswept tree against a starlit sky (Default)
Idea spawned out of an early morning laughfest with [livejournal.com profile] rialian after finding our book on the uses of Kudzu: Carnivorous Invasive Species Permaculture Garden (complete with self-sustaining cycles), which would, among other crawling horrors, contain the product of splicing a giant venus flytrap with kudzu...
helen99: A windswept tree against a starlit sky (Default)
Coworker 1: I can't believe B. got me this gift.
Coworker 2: So, what are you going to get for him in return?
Coworker 1: I'm trying to think of the most disgusting gift possible.
Coworker 2: How about a shrunken head?
Coworker 1: That works, but aren't they expensive?
Coworker 2: Not if you make it yourself! If anyone knew how, it'd be you.
Coworker 1: How do they make the skull small anyway? Wikipedia!
Coworker 1: Oh, they remove the skull first. Sweet. I love Wikipedia.
helen99: A windswept tree against a starlit sky (Default)
I needed an excuse to use this new icon, so I thought these articles from the San Francisco Chronicle would be appropriate:

Boomerang comes back after 25 years

Sex toy triggers bomb scare in Sweden

UFO flies over texas town
helen99: A windswept tree against a starlit sky (Default)
A few years back, I was at a holiday get-together at [livejournal.com profile] rialian's parents house. I think it was Easter. At any rate, it wasn't Christmas, because this year was my first Christmas with them. That day during dinner, I happened to notice an odd ornament situated on top of a large china closet across from me. The ornament looked like a horse. Never mind that the "horse" had antlers, and there were shiny christmas balls attatched to said antlers - I was not associating this ornament with Christmas, since it was months away, and I was actually thinking about something else when I saw it. That was when I absently remarked to the room at large, "That horse looks like its brain exploded."

Well, Rialian's mom doesn't forget such a grand opportunity for endless mockery. So when I opened up one of my Chirstmas gifts today, I was surely not surprised to see...what I saw.

Of course, it was Rialian and Stove Top who pointed out the fact that it appeared to be "anatomically correct" (we don't know if Rialian's mom noticed this or not, but we suspect maybe she did...)


The Drag Stags have nothing on him )
helen99: A windswept tree against a starlit sky (Default)
I bought way too much candy for Halloween. I wanted to be prepared, because some years, many groups have come by, and one year I actually ran out of candy. So I got this really gross candy - the kind that kids really like and is every dentist's nightmare. I got two bags of Monster Mixups, and one bag each of Gaveyard Ghoulies and Body Parts. These basically consisted of some horrible admixture of gummy substance, sugar, noxious flavoring, and toxic dye, fashioned into horrid little shapes such as severed feet, teeth, eyeballs, skulls, and other hideous items. The kids who showed up loved them, but there were only about four groups (if even that). There had been an armed assault at the Twinbrook Shopping Center, and a police helicopter had hovered over our neighborhood for about a half an hour during prime candy time, so the event was kind of a bust. Meaning that I was stuck with about three pounds of crawling hideousness which was only vaguely disguised as something that little people-spawn actually put in their mouths. Which isn't surprising, since I've seen them put everything they can in their mouths...

So what did I do? I took it to work. "Surely I will be laughed out of the office," I thought. "Nobody will even touch this stuff. They will barf just looking at it or smelling it."

Wrong.

What I hadn't considered is that I now work in a computer center (that's another update - I'll post about that later) with a bunch of sugar junkies. It was HORRIBLE. They descended on the gummy eyeballs like a plague of locusts. Did they eat just one? Oh no. They went back for seconds, thirds, fourths.

By the end of the day, the bag was gone.

This morning I brought in a shopping bag full of even more gummy eyeballs (and thumbs and feet and teeth and monsters). These, too, are being devoured. The entire Application Hosting Environment is going to become diabetic. I'd say it was my fault, but hey, my only crime was littering leaving the gobs of goo where people could get it.

Egad, I say.
helen99: A windswept tree against a starlit sky (Default)
Every so often I get a search report for rialian.com that is just sort of baffling and amusing at the same time...

"Mon Sep 24 17:18:34 2007 hand with six fingers "hand" AND six NOT fingers
Mon Sep 24 17:17:59 2007 hand with six fingers "hand" AND six NOT fingers
Mon Sep 24 17:09:06 2007 giant whith six fingers
Mon Sep 24 16:44:41 2007 hand whith six fingers
Mon Sep 24 16:40:03 2007 hand white six fingers "hand" AND six NOT fingers
Mon Sep 24 16:39:22 2007 hand whith six fingers "hand" AND six NOT fingers
Mon Sep 24 16:30:54 2007 six fingers"

um, right-o.
helen99: A windswept tree against a starlit sky (Default)
I realized after I got my laptop that it didn't have a PS-2 port -- only USB ports. Although I have plenty of USB to PS2 adapters all over the house, I don't have one single PS2 to USB adapter. Therefore, all my PS2 keyboards were unusable on the laptop. I needed a USB keyboard. There was one in the house (Rialian's) but the keys are a bit sticky, so I wanted a new one just like it.

I went to the most convenient place that has keyboards (Best Buy), to find a generic, 20-buck USB keyboard,. That was when I found out that Best Buy didn't carry any USB keyboards - only expensive cordless ones that were $50 and up. For one thing, I am not impressed with cordless keyboards - the one I did try kept losing its connection whenever anything (like a cat) got between it and the box. For another, I wasn't willing to spend over $50 on anything that might fall victim to a spilled drink. I left.

Later that same evening, I decided to clean out the attic. After the last camping trip, I had not really reorganized it, and I had been missing a VCR that I wanted to use to digitize some of my old VHS tapes. We had recently bought a piece of hardware for that purpose, only it wasn't compatible with Ubuntu. Now that I had the laptop, that wouldn't be an issue anymore. Hence the inspiration to find it. Wellp, I didn't find the VCR in the attic, but I did find ... a Logitech USB keyboard.

I don't know if it came from the same place as the Accordion. Probably not. That seems to be from a slightly different dimension than the Keyboard. It was also spawned from a different storage area. So we have one storage area that spawns musical instruments and another that spawns technology that is being phased out.

I can't complain, even though I never did find my VCR... The keyboard was an exact duplicate of Rialian's...

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